Donna Lim

It has been just over a month since my mother passed away, August 21, 2012. Her death was unexpected and sudden. Debbie and I talked to her everyday and involved our mother in everything. We did not want our mother to be alone. We wanted her to feel loved and important. We were good daughters who loved our mother unconditionally. We were only close to our mother for 12 years, after her husband Al died. I believe she loved us unconditionally as adults. Our mother was a prodigy in music and left a very promising future to run off to marry our father and move to San Francisco Chinatown. She was strong enough to leave him after he cheated multiple times and moved back to Detroit. Unfortunately, my mother met another man who ended up being our stepfather, our worst nightmare. Throughout the years, all we wanted was an explanation of why we were treated so badly. Maybe even an apology or told just once, I love you by our mother. Unfortunately, I knew deep down...

A lot has happened since my last post. I made a commitment to myself to finally be happy and live my life in doing things that I enjoy while surrounding myself with people who matters. In doing this, I needed to simplify my life and create stronger relationships with my friends and family. As most of you are aware, my husband and I moved back to Michigan over a year ago after our venture in Missouri. (Pfizer offered me a promotion during the Ann Arbor closure and relocated us. While in Missouri, we had several set-backs and eventually my position was again, eliminated.) I consistently stayed positive and just knew everything would eventually all work out. It just had to. A few months ago, I paid cash for an adorable, small house (what a deal!). Within one week of living in my new abode, I started a new job and became a grandmother to a beautiful granddaughter, Sienna. My home is everything I had hoped for and the security of owning it free and clear is still surreal. I was unexp...

THE BIG 5-0 Now that I had six months to experience the big 5-0, I can say at the least, it does put things into perspective. As a young woman, I had a distorted view of myself to the point where I would try anything to be skinny; I took my knowledge and skills for granted and was naïve when it came to trusting my so-called good friends. I thought I was invincible and as a mother, held too close to my children in fear that they would be hurt or taken. As a mature, middle-aged woman, I miss my 23.5” waist that I thought was fat, and for wasting precious time on worrying and negative self-talk. I ridiculed myself daily for being ugly, fat and stupid, etc, replaying those words spoken to me as a child by my parents and never heard I Love You, but only from my grandmother. I never thought I was worthy until now. I realize life is too short and it is now that matters. With recent close health issues, it made me even more aware of how precious life is. In a moment, life can change; life ca...

We all go through uncertainty and/or a change where we find ourselves outside of our comfort zone. We suddenly fall into a negative zone - fear, anxiety, hopelessness, questioning why me, or our body reacts negatively. Yet, that gut feeling inside is consciously aware that this is out of our control or surprisingly, welcomes the change, regardless of how the mind is reacting at the moment. Do you resist change? Next you start falling into a negative zone or outside of your comfort zone; focus on how those thoughts will change for the better. It will bring new opportunities, new relationships, new skills, a new venture, and more if you allow yourself to make the best of a change. That goes the same if you are the one actually creating the change (a divorce, leaving a job or relationship). The beginning is always tough, but the rewards will be waiting for you. You have the choice of how the path will lead – as an adventure or resistance all the way. While I had to deal with uncerta...

Last night, Debbie and I ran into a client of hers at Rite Aid. This beautiful woman shocked us when she mentioned she was 70! She had so many nice things to say, but what actually led us to further discussion as we drove away, is when she said we were blessed with a good life. Life is what you make it. We all have choices and the power to create our own paths; both deceitfulness and deception, or honest and caring. In our childhood, our grandmother taught us love and strength in a highly dysfunctional environment. We chose honest and caring. Not too long ago, my husband and I were having dinner at Duke's with our friends. We exchanged stories about our childhood and life in Detroit. Later, my husband asked why I tell people about my past and was I embarrassed about it. It surprised me that he said this since he is probably one of the only people who witnessed a small portion of our environment (we were introduced when I was laying on the floor after a beaten by my stepfather and ...

I am back home and it feels wonderful! I am actually feeling happy, first time in a very, very long time. I will continue to stay focused in being positive and trust that everything will turn out good. These last few years were highly stressful and 2011 will be a good year! I cannot believe what Rhino Fitness did to me, the final negative experience in Missouri. But it will end up being okay. Below is a song by Cher, You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me. This song is perfect to those who tried to hurt me. . . Feeling broken Barely holding on But there’s just something so strong Somewhere inside me And I am down but I’ll get up again Don’t count me out just yet I’ve been brought down to my knees And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking But I can take it I’ll be back Back on my feet This is far from over You haven’t seen the last of me You haven’t seen the last of me They can say that I won’t stay around But I’m gonna stand my ground You’re not gonna stop me You don’t know me Y...

WOW! So it happened again. Have you ever met a person who uses your personal experiences of being hurt or stabbed in the back to their advantage? Or, believed that person was genuinely honest to the point where you wanted to help him or her succeed, etc? From the beginning, I was leery about this woman. My intuition told me not to trust her. However, my twin-sister trusted her completely and somewhat convinced me that she was real. Always stick to your intuition - always. Debbie had plans for the person. She took this woman under her wings and cultivated her from knowing nothing to becoming a good instructor in over a year. Their friendship grew fast. Many of us warned my twin-sister, but she sincerely trusted her. Unfortunately, she used my twin-sister, our team, and everything we had to offer to her advantage. She played the poor me attitude and her strong religion ( as we thought ) to the hilt. She manipulated us all. She manipulated our clients. This person is a pro at getting thin...